Author Marieke Nijkamp on the Harrowing Research Behind This is Where it Ends, Diverse Books, and Writing America From Outside

Q& A Credit: Dahlia Adler

Fifty-four minutes. One school shooting told in real time. If Marieke Nijkamp’s debut sounds both intense and terrifying, you don’t know the half of it. But it’s an incredibly important read that’s all too relevant in America right now. On a personal note, this is a hugely exciting release to me, as Marieke’s been my critique partner for going on four years, and I could not be prouder of her debut. This is Where it Ends has been in my life and my heart for years, and I’m so excited to see it finally available to the world. For a sneak peek behind the book and into the brain of its author, we’ve got Marieke Nijkamp herself.

This is Where it Ends is written from four different perspectives. How did you choose who would get a voice in the story, and was one easier to write than the others?

I knew early on I wanted This is Where it Ends to tell the story of the people at the heart of a shooting, to explore the different stories and narratives. Because we so often hear about the shooter, but rarely about the victims, the survivors, the students. So I knew I wanted characters who were at the core of it all (whether physically or emotionally) while all having different perspectives. Characters who were in the auditorium, where the shooting took place, and characters who were outside of it. Characters who had a direct connection to the shooter (sibling, ex-girlfriend) and characters who had an indirect connection to him. Characters who reflected all kinds of students. My four main characters—Autumn, Sylvia, Tomás, and Claire—grew from that. There were many others to whom I wish I could’ve given a voice, but in the end it made sense for these four to be the focal points—because in the story, they are.

As for writing, they were all easy and difficult in their own ways. But oh, how I loved spending time with Tomás and Fareed.

Researching for this book could not have been easy. What were some of the most standout things you learned while looking into school shootings?

I spent a lot of time doing research, from reading investigation reports to watching documentaries to listening to recordings of 911 calls. That last part of research was particular harrowing, but I felt it was important, both to understand and to be respectful to the experience. I did not shy away from telling the story, so I could not shy away from doing the research.

But what really stood out to me is that, through news reports and popular culture, we have a very specific image of who a school shooter is. A loner. A failure. A young guy addicted to violence, bent on revenge. And that simply isn’t true. There is no such thing as a set profile for a school shooter. They can be loners, but they can also be part of the popular crowd. They can be high school dropouts, but more often than not they’re straight-A students. The one thing the vast majority of shooters has in common is that they’re white guys who (often) struggle with a combination of entitlement and not feeling seen, heard, recognized (again, often) as a result of either experiences of grief and loss, and/or of bullying. And that is a decidedly different problem than the (trench coat mafia–inspired) image of a trigger-happy outcast.

One of the coolest things to see in the months leading up to the release of This is Where it Ends is how much teens are already engaging with your book. What has that been like?

It’s been absolutely amazing. My publisher set up a pre-pub Skype tour with teen book clubs all across the country, and the response was fantastic. One thing in particular that just made me intensely happy was how many teens told me this book helped them start conversations about school shootings, how before reading it, they would go through drills but never really talked about the possibility or the experience of shootings, and this helped them broach the subject. I got the same response from quite a few teachers, too. So to know my book helped them connect, even just a little, honestly means the world to me.

I can’t help wondering what it looks like to be a non-American author writing about such a horrific and pretty uniquely American epidemic. How does that affect your perspective, if at all?

It felt pretty intimidating! But at the same time, I think, being an outsider also helped me approach the subject without baggage, so to speak. Because I knew so little going in, beyond what I’d seen on the news and social media, I allowed myself to ask a lot of questions, to investigate without the immediate need to form an opinion. If this had been something I’d be directly affected by, I imagine that would be a lot harder.

As an outspoken advocate of diversity in children’s literature, in what areas do you think books have made improvements in the past year? What would you still like to see more of?

I feel like diversity has become a lot more visible, both in terms of the actual discussion and in terms of representation of marginalized characters. As a result, it’s become less niche and rather more a part of our literary reality. I love seeing increasingly many experiences and identities reflected.

And that’s a good start. But I would still love to see more of everything. I’d love to see more exploration of the gender spectrum. I’d love for disabled characters to exist in their own right, without being an inspiration or needing to be cured. I want more ace rep and other queer letters beyond G and L. I want more characters of all ethnicities in all stories, but especially in speculative YA. And above all, I would love, love, love to read more #ownvoices and see them recognized for how important they are.

You’ve been super involved in the YA community for years, and I imagine people would be shocked to know how many books you’ve had a hand in critiquing. What are some books that are now published (or will be imminently) that you’ve advised on?

This question is the worst! Because I have been lucky enough to read quite a few of them, and I basically just want to name them all! I can’t pick!

But let’s see…I don’t think I’ve made a secret of how much I love Sarah Benwell’s The Last Leaves Falling and your Just Visiting and Corinne Duyvis’s upcoming On the Edge of Gone. Or, for that matter, Maggie Hall’s The Conspiracy of Us, Chessie Zappia’s Made You Up, and Gina Ciocca’s Last Year’s Mistake. So let’s not go for those as my answer 😉 (Hey, when it comes to sneaking in titles, I learned from the best.)

There were quite a few recent titles I was lucky enough to read early and maybe help shape a bit. Among those in 2015, I loved Cat Hellisen’s Beastkeeper, which is just the most magical, dark fairy tale. Virginia Boecker’s The Witch Hunter transported me to a fantastic alternate London. And I.W. Gregorio’s None of the Above is such an important but also such a wonderful story.

 Any words of wisdom to pass down to the rest of your debut class?

Don’t forget to breathe. Both literally and metaphorically. This past year has zoomed by, and it’s so tempting to go along with that and always look for the *next* shiny, instead of occasionally taking a step back to enjoy and be grateful for how far we’ve come. This journey is amazing and bizarre and utterly overwhelming at times, but it’s ours. So let’s experience it fiercely.